How very sad for a person to die before they have had a chance to make amends with someone even if that someone is themselves. Forgiving someone or yourself for past misjudgments or actions can be a trial that can last a lifetime.
I am seeking self-forgiveness and I often find the biggest obstacle in forgiving myself is me.
I know it is important to ask God for forgiveness and I have asked. I believe in my heart He has forgiven me. My own insecurity is holding me back from fully allowing myself to accept this forgiveness. The Bible says that when God forgives us, He “remembers our sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). In other words, He is saying, I forgive you so move on with yourself! I am trying hard to remember that if an awesome God can forgive a wretch like me, I should be able to forgive myself. If God has moved on, shouldn’t I do the same rather than remain a victim of my own scorn?
I realize the longer I avoid truly forgiving myself, the longer I allow myself to harbor the feelings that I deserve to suffer. Self forgiveness will bring me the peace I desire. Simply letting go of what I am holding against myself will better enable me to move on with my relationship with God and with others.
The reality is I cannot change what has happened. It is time for me to forgive myself and let the healing begin.